tohmatori SHI NE!!!
by tohma is grumpy
Summary: stupidity attacks when the gravitation cast is suddenly the weiß cast. will ayaka/becky/hiro ever get revenge? will ryuichi get a brain? will yuki get lung cancer? will tatsuha lick knives? yes, oh god, yes.


**tohmatori SHI NE!!!**   
--   
rating: PG-13   
pairings: stupidity   
warnings: this is really stupid. you might want knowledge of gravi and weiß before reading.   
archiving: if you want to, contact me first...   
extra info: this is really stupid. 

desc: stupidity attacks when the gravitation cast is suddenly the weiß cast. will ayaka/becky/hiro ever get revenge? will ryuichi get a brain? will yuki get lung cancer? will tatsuha swallow pins? yes, oh god, yes.   
-- 

"Hunters of the light, hunt the...tomorrows...of um..." 

"Here we go," Yuki sighed, puffing his cigarette. "I should go pick up some chicks." 

"Silly," Shuichi giggled. "You're such a silly playboy." He giggled because he was soooo innocent and cute. 

"Argh," Hiro grumbled. 

"Soy sauce," mumbled Ryuichi. "On my egg roll." He scratched his goggles. 

"Hunt the tomorrow of all dark beasts." 

Yuki left to pick up chicks. Shuichi frowned dissaprovingly. 

"Tomorrow's forcast will be dark with beasts." 

"Shut the fuck up," Hiro snarled. "We go through this everytime." 

"You shut the fuck up, Becky!" The TV screamed. 

"ITS AYAKA!" Hiro screamed back. 

"Why's your name Ayaka, Ayaka?" Shuichi inquired. 

"Because my long distance relationship phone call girlfriend Ayaka fell into a coma when Tohmatori SHI NE!!! hit her with a big stick." 

"Tohmatori?!" Shuichi squealed. 

"TOHMATORI SHI NE!" Hiro screamed from instinct. "I mean yes." 

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Shuichi screamed and ran from the room. 

Ryuichi twitched. "PONY!!!" He was asleep. 

"Dumbass," the red haired bishouneny bastard mumbled. 

-- 

Tohmatori bitchslapped Kdich around his office. 

"You motherfucker!" 

"Owch!" 

"I want you to bring Yuki to ME!" he screamed. Kdich smirked. 

"You want his ass." 

"SHUT UP!!!!" 

"Your mind makes me horny, Tohmatori." 

The blond bad guy huffed, patting his bowler hat down firmly on his head. "Stop reading my mind." 

Kdich hopped around, his big ponytail flinging all over the damn place. "Hehehehehe! Your voice actor is a girl." 

"SHUT UP!!!" Tohmatori screamed. He pushed his bodyguard out the door and stomped up and down squealing like a pig. "NU-UH!!!" 

Tatsuha was outside, eating pins. 

"Pins make my throat tingle, K." 

"That's nice." K patted Tatsuha on the head and continued on. He came across Suguru. 

"Hello, Sug." 

"Don't call me that." Suguru said quietly. "Did you know that mayflies only live for a day?" 

"Yes." 

... 

"I'm going to go cut my throat open," Suguru sighed, walking off with his shoulders slumped. K raised an eyebrow. He kept walking and came across Sakano. 

"Hiya, Sak." 

"Shut-up!" Sakano squealed, running off with his arms flailing. K blinked. 

"Well that was sure in character." 

-- 

"What's this mission about again, Ayaka?" Yuki mumbled, smoking. AGAIN. 

"TOHMATORI SHI NE!!!" Hiro cried. "I mean, I don't know. Hunting beasts of darkness." 

"Afghanistan," Ryuichi called, tying his sweater tight around his sexy waist. 

"That's nice, Ryu-kun, now don't tie that too tight, remember what happened last time." Shuichi smiled innocently like a cute little innocent boy. Ryuichi blinked. 

"Circulation..." 

"That's right." 

"Cut off..." 

"Mmhmm." 

"To my...thingy," he finally ventured. Shuichi nodded. 

"Good - hey you guys, Ryu-kun finished a whole sentance!" 

"Shut up, you stupid Tohmatori SHI NE!!!!! family member," Hiro grumbled. Shuichi started to cry, throwing himself from the car. 

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He screamed, running into the night. Yuki looked back. 

"We lost him." 

"The more of those things dead, the better!" Hiro cried, flooring the gas. Ryuichi squealed. 

"CAR GOES FAST! SCARED!!!" he wailed. 

"Shut up!" 

"Grumble," said Yuki. 

-- 

Finally, they were all at the place where they would fight. Hiro hopped from the car, screaming at he ran up the stairs. 

"TOHMATORI SHI NEEE!" 

"That's so old," Yuki yawned, smoking. 

Suddenly Mika and Noriko appeared. Shuichi screamed. 

"WHO ARE YOU!" 

"Titant," Mika smirked. 

"What the fuck?" 

"Because we have big tits," Noriko explained. 

"Oh." Shuichi shrugged. "That makes sense." 

"Three boys," Ryuichi counted. Shuichi smiled gently. 

"No, Ryuichi, you mean two girls." 

"Broccoli." 

"Yes." Shuichi rolled his eyes. "Hey, how come there are only two of you? All the other groups have four people." 

"Not enough girls in the series," Noriko giggled. Ryuichi suddenly screamed. 

"BUNNY!" 

He pointed at Noriko. She had a pink bunny clutched in her arms. 

"NO!" she screamed. 

"I WANT THE BUNNY!" 

Ryuichi tackled Noriko, and they rolled all over the floor. Mika wandered over and squeezed Shuichi's ass. He rolled his eyes. 

"Those damn Tits," Yuki laughed casually. 

They were all relaxing when suddenly more people showed up. Ryuichi and Noriko stopped fighting as four guys entered the room. 

"WHO ARE YOU!" Shuichi screamed dramatically. 

"Shwanky," Sakano commented lazily. 

"Because you're all swanky?" Shuichi asked brightly. Tatsuha ran over to him. 

"Want to see, want to see." He cut his arm open with a big knife. 

"Ew," Shuichi whimpered, backing away. 

"HEHEHHEHE!" Tatsuha grinned, running around screaming and yodeling like a scotsman. 

K rolled on the floor laughing because he was reading everyone's mind and thought he was so funny and clever. Yuki kicked his crotch. 

"OWCH!" 

"Dumbass," Yuki snarled. He threw some thread onto K. "You're dead now." 

Suguru made sakura petals float all over the room. Shuichi threw dartboard darts at him. 

Tatsuha ran over to Ryuichi, winking. 

"You're hot. Watch what I can do." He pulled out a knife and slit his throat open. He gurgled and was dead. 

"Lawnmower," Ryuichi lamented over the body. 

Sakano snapped. "DAMN! My entire team of super strong psychics defeated! You're good - what are you!?" 

"Bice," Shuichi said. 

"Vice," Yuki said.  
  
"Pikachu," Ryuichi said. 

"PIKACHU! Damn," Sakano said. Then he dropped dead. 

Shuichi dropped to the floor, screaming. "BROTHER!!!!" 

Yuki stared at Tatsuha, shrugged, smoked and followed Ayaka upstairs. 

"PEANUT BUTTER!" Ryuichi screamed, leaping on Noriko again and trying to get the bunny. 

Mika was disgusted. "Nobody even remmebered we were hear." 

She looked around and everyone was gone. So she threw a bitchyfit. 

-- 

"I finally found you...Tohmatori SHI NE!!!" Hiro whispered. Tohmatori turned around, smiling and laughing in that woman's voice of his. 

"Ha-ha-ha. But its not you I want." 

He screamed as hands wrapped around him from behind. 

"MOTHER!" Shuichi screamed. 

"AAAUGH!" Tohma cried. 

"SHI NEEEEE!" Hiro pouted. 

Ryuichi came barelling into the room, and he knocked Tohmatori and Shuichi out the window. They fell, and landed with a splat. Hiro screamed and jumped out too. 

"I'LL KILL YOU BEFORE YOU LAND TOHMATORIIIII!!" 

Yuki got lung cancer and died. Ryuichi died from lack of circulation to his thing because of his tight sweater. 

Then they all came back in the ending credits and had yaoi sex, just like their voice actors. 

-- 

hahaha. i'm just so damn funny. don't ask. this'll be edited and made longer later on. 

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follow the arrow and click, onegai shimasu.   
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